The most powerful weapon skilled negotiators use: Listening.

Most negotiation training focuses on strategies and tactics. We believe you should focus on listening first, before strategies and tactics. You can only counter a negotiating tactic after you notice it, and noticing a tactic is a listening skill, not a negotiating one.

The salesperson who spends most of a conversation listening hears a tactic forming before feeling the pressure of it. A rep who spends most of the conversation talking walks straight into a trap.

Overt tactics are designed to elicit an emotional response. When a buyer says something like, You have to do better than that, the untrained response is to defend or discount. The trained response, drawn straight from active listening principles, is to concentrate on what the other person is truly saying instead of planning what to say next. That single habit is also the first line of defense against any tactic skilled negotiators use.

Covert tactics are harder to catch because they feel reasonable and understated. Covert tactics rely on sellers who listen only for words and miss tone, context, and intent. Be sure to listen for more than words: body language, feeling, and meaning. This skill allows a negotiator to recognize a manufactured deadline or a convenient budget number for what it is, rather than accepting it at face value.

Most reps lose negotiations due to a lack of preparation. Remember LATER to help prepare:

• Label what you hear
• Ask questions to diagnose before reacting
• Test whether the issue is real
• Expand the conversation back to value
• Require a trade for any concession.

Every one of those steps requires deep listening. Labeling requires understanding and patience. Asking requires curiosity. Testing requires restating a buyer's position accurately enough that both sides agree on what is actually being negotiated.

Salespeople who consistently practice using LATER can choose an intentional response rather than an emotional one.

Negotiation and listening are often taught as separate skills. A salesperson who genuinely listens can tell the difference between a real constraint and a tactic designed to lower expectations. That difference usually determines who keeps the margin when the deal closes.